My colleague Ged Carroll, linking to my Limited Profile Snub post , made an interesting point:
I think that the big problem is the facebook and Myspace have debased the concept of friend beyond all recognition and we don’t have the social structure to adequately handle it yet.
Another colleague, Rachel Lee, commented:
But overall, when it comes to things like facebook and all, too much emphasis on the technology itself can be damaging. I feel that real friends really don't need facebook or myspace or even friendster to keep in touch.
I still write more than 40+ postcards a month to friends abroad, and prefer it as I feel it is more genuine (albeit more troublesome).
Sending a Christmas card used to mean something. Now we send e-cards that aren't even customized, let alone handwritten and signed. I fully support the ban on sending paper cards for environmental reasons, but it's time to re-evaluate the e-card too. How about a simple email, perhaps enhanced with a nice embedded jpg? That would be the modern equivalent of the handwritten thank-you note or Christmas card: sincere, thoughtful, with actual effort.
To be honest, I typically ignore the dozens of FB requests for hugs, do-you-think-i'm-hot, xxx-has-bought-you-a-beer, etc. that we all get daily, because I know all someone did was check off my name against a long list. Funnily enough, the only time I've accepted these requests is when I know they're from a friend who's not particularly technically savvy and thus for them the act carries relatively greater meaning.
But back to the question: What is a Friend, in this age of social media and automated greetings?
For sure social networking has made us sacrifice quality for quantity when it comes to friendships. But the tools themselves don't define the relationship, it's how we use them that does. Regardless of what the medium is between us, at either end we are still living breathing beings with emotions. The key is to be cognitive of how the way we use the tools makes us feel. You can be a good friend with someone you've never met.
Sometimes a single Hug-Me request from FB, sent only to you, can be more heartwarming than a handwritten card from somebody's secretary.
You can find this definition of friendship in Wikipedia:
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating on a consistent basis:
If you and your counterpart in a relationship agree that you derive those values from it, then regardless of distance, interaction medium, frequency of communication, age, religion, nationality, lifestyle, gender, social standing, etc. ... you are Friends.